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Having a lover and loving your spouse: Why?

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by Vanessa Charles

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For many people, the idea of a spouse having a lover raises questions and concerns. Yet having a love partner in addition to a spouse can be a solution to some relationship problems. In this article, we'll explore why having a lover and loving your spouse can be beneficial. We'll also discuss the precautions to be taken and the various consequences of this situation.

Having a lover and loving your spouse: Why?

Why have a lover when you love your spouse?

The question of why have a lover when you love your partner seems to be one asked by many people. This type of relationship is indeed quite complex and not without risks, as it can lead to serious problems in the couple and even cause a break-up. This article will examine the various reasons why some people choose to have a lover while still in love with their partner.

First of all, lack of intimacy and lack of communication are often cited as common reasons why people decide to have a parallel relationship. Couples who have been together for a long time may feel disconnected and less close than in the past. This feeling can lead to the temptation to explore what's going on elsewhere, which in turn leads to the search for an additional relationship. Another common reason is that people crave adventure or want to experience something new. Daily routines can be boring and monotonous, and having a lover gives people the opportunity to get away and have exciting experiences.

What's more, some couples don't have the time or inclination to spend time together, and find it easier to find a parallel relationship to fill the emotional void. Adultery can also be motivated by unmet physical needs or unfulfilled fantasies. Men and women who are sexually unsatisfied or wish to explore their sexuality may seek to find this in another partner. It's important to note that not all of these factors are always conscious, and some people don't realize they need a lover until they find themselves involved in an illicit relationship.

Finally, it's important to mention that lack of commitment is one of the main reasons why people often choose to have a lover while they still love their partner. When a couple can't see themselves getting married or making long-term plans, some members of the couple may decide to seek a more "comfortable" form of relationship, involving less promise and more excitement. In this situation, having a lover offers people the opportunity to be free and spontaneous without fear of long-term commitment or overly high expectations.

Extramarital relationships are complicated and always involve a number of risks, but it's clear that some couples opt for this option because they see more short-term benefits than long-term drawbacks. It's important for everyone to be aware of the potential consequences before making such a decision, to prevent any future problems. Nevertheless, the question remains: why have a lover when you love your partner? The answer varies from person to person and from situation to situation, so it's important to carefully consider your own situation before making a final decision on this controversial subject.

Having a lover and loving your spouse: Why?

Is it normal to have a lover when you love your spouse?

Few people have never had to face the dilemma of having a lover when you love your partner. Although this situation is often considered taboo, it happens more frequently than you might think. The reasons why people choose to have a lover despite their love for their spouse can be varied and complex.

Yet the question of whether or not this is acceptable is still controversial. To better understand people's decision to have an affair when they love their partner, it's important to look at the motivations behind it and the consequences that result.

The main reasons why a person enters into an extramarital relationship are often related to emotional or sexual needs. Many people are looking for some form of entertainment or a sense of personal and intimate satisfaction in a partner other than the one they have in their married life. In addition, some may feel ignored by their partner and seek the attention and affection they need elsewhere. Still others may find some form of passion and excitement in another partner that is missing from their marital relationship.

Another reason why some people decide to have a lover is that love is not always enough to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. Sometimes individuals need more than their partner can offer to satisfy their deepest aspirations and intimate needs. Thus, they may turn to another partner to find what they need that is missing from their married life.

While there may be advantages to having a lover in addition to your spouse, the practice can present some significant risks to a person's emotional and psychological stability. For a start, an extramarital affair can damage the feelings of the legitimate partner, which can lead to deep emotional and psychological hurt. In addition, the person involved in infidelity may feel guilty or betray their own moral values by having a secret affair, which can lead to negative consequences for their mental and physical health.

Consequently, having a lover while in love with one's spouse is a complex decision that needs to be taken with a great deal of thought and discernment in order to avoid any unnecessary risk to oneself and one's legitimate partner. The best thing to do is to be aware of the potential dangers of infidelity and to think carefully about its possible consequences before making any hasty or rash decisions.

What's the point of having a lover when you love your partner?

Having a lover and loving your partner is a situation that often occurs in modern relationships. Although this practice is a source of controversy, many couples see it as acceptable and even beneficial to their relationship. What's the point of having a lover when you love your partner?

For some people, having a lover allows them to regain some of their freedom and take some time for themselves. Daily obligations, work, family and household chores can lead to a certain weariness, a feeling of confinement that can cause one of the partners to seek support or understanding from another person. An extramarital affair allows both members of the couple to take a break and reflect on their personal situation.

For others, having a lover offers the possibility of more satisfying sexual relations. Many couples experience sexual frustration because they can't always find the harmony they need to achieve shared pleasure. To remedy this, some turn to a lover to satisfy their intimate needs.

On the other hand, for some couples with financial difficulties, the involvement of a lover can be beneficial, as it enables them to share the financial burdens associated with the household without compromising the couple's intimacy. This formula is particularly popular with young couples looking to settle down without breaking the bank.

Finally, for some people, having a lover can serve to boost their self-confidence and sense of personal power. In this context, the lover serves not only to satisfy emotional needs, but also to promote the personal growth of the couple.

It's clear, then, that the motivations for having an extramarital affair are many and varied, and can be altruistic or selfish, depending on the situation of each couple. However, it's important for everyone to be aware of the potential consequences that may arise from the feelings they develop towards their lover, as this can have repercussions on their personal and professional life, as well as that of their partner.

It's possible to love both your partner and a lover. This can be beneficial for both parties, but requires a certain amount of maturity and communication. However, before making this decision, it's important to think carefully about the consequences it could have on your personal life and your relationship. This article has given you a better understanding of why having a lover and loving your partner can be a viable option, and how to approach it safely.

FAQ

How to reconcile love for a spouse and love for a lover?

It's important to recognize that love is a complex emotion, and that it can be difficult to share it between several people. The best way to reconcile love for a spouse and love for a lover is to always keep in mind that respect and communication are the keys to a good relationship. It's also important to be honest with both people, which can help maintain healthy, positive relationships.

What happens if I'm discovered?

If you are discovered, the consequences can be disastrous. Relationships with your partner can be irreparably damaged, and there is also a legal risk if your lover is married or if you have an illegal relationship. So it's important to be careful and do everything you can to ensure confidentiality.

How can I manage my feelings?

Sometimes, dealing with conflicting feelings can be difficult. It's important to take time to reflect and realize that you have a right to feel the way you do. If you find it too difficult to deal with on your own, it can be helpful to talk to a professional who can guide you.

What are the risks of having a lover?

Having a lover involves a number of risks, not least in terms of your physical and mental health. Having an extramarital relationship can lead to stress, guilt, arguments with your partner and a lack of trust between you. Your mental health can suffer, too, as you struggle to manage your conflicting feelings.

What's the right way to broach the subject with my partner?

The right way to broach the subject with your partner will depend on the specific circumstances. It's important to be honest and open, and to discuss your reasons for considering an extramarital relationship. This conversation won't be easy, but it's essential to avoid unnecessary hurt.

About
Vanessa Charles

A (very) close friend of Cupid and a true lover of relationships of all kinds, I am the main editor of Give Me Date. I answer your questions about couples, sexuality and dating and I test dating sites to give you a subjective opinion on how to find love or meet new people.

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