Why doesn't my partner feel the withdrawal: what to do?


by Vanessa Charles


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The feeling of lack can be both a sign of deep love and a reaction to an unfulfilled emotional need. But what does it really mean not to feel lack? Is it a sign of unlove, or simply a different way of approaching the relationship?

In every relationship, feeling wanted and missed by your partner is a reassuring feeling that strengthens the emotional bond. So what to do when this feeling seems one-sided? Let's start by clearing the way.

Why doesn't my partner feel the withdrawal: what to do?

How do I know if she misses me?

It's perfectly normal to wonder about the importance you have in your partner's life. Although lack is often associated with passion, its absence is not necessarily synonymous with indifference or lack of love. The key is to detect certain clues:

  • His behavior in your presence: If your partner seems constantly preoccupied or elsewhere, it could be that he's thinking about you while you're away. The care and attention he gives you are also strong signals.
  • His communication : The impatient anticipation of your messages, the mention of shared memories in your conversations, all these little details show that he thinks of you regularly.
  • Small everyday gestures : These attentions, often discreet, can reveal a deep and abiding love.

When does the lack of love occur?

Lack of love is a multi-faceted emotion. It can arise from a physical separation, an absence of news, or a feeling of emotional distance. Understanding the nature and source of this feeling is essential:

  • Physical separation : Distance can either bring hearts closer together or drive them apart.
  • No news : Lack of communication can be a breeding ground for doubts and worries.
  • Emotional estrangement: Lack can arise even when you're physically close, but emotionally distant.

How can I make my partner miss me?

Although the idea of "creating" lack may seem manipulative, it's really about reintroducing balance into the relationship:

  • Spending time apart : Absence often reinforces complicity. It's an opportunity to realize the value of each other's presence.
  • Cultivating your secret garden : Having separate activities or hobbies can rekindle mutual interest.
  • Be less predictable: A certain spontaneity can add spice to the relationship.

Is lack a sign of love?

The complexity of lack lies in its duality. Although it is often associated with love, it can also reflect deeper issues:

  • Lack of love: Sincere tenderness and affection for others.
  • Pathological withdrawal: When it's a sign of emotional dependence or a personality disorder.
Why doesn't my partner feel the withdrawal: what to do?

Why doesn't my partner miss me?

There are several possible reasons for this. Perhaps your partner is naturally independent and doesn't need much attention to feel fulfilled. Or perhaps he or she is simply used to your absence and has adapted. It's also possible that your partner doesn't want to make you feel responsible for his or her happiness and therefore prefers not to show you that he or she feels your absence.

What should I do if my partner doesn't feel the need for me?

Try to talk to your partner to find out what's going on. It's possible that your partner needs more space and freedom, and he or she can let you know if you're open to communication. If your partner doesn't want to talk to you, there's little chance of things improving, and it might be better to consider a break-up.

I miss my partner, but I don't want to show it. What can I do?

There is no shame in feeling the lack, but you can understand if you don't want to show it to your partner. You can try to find other ways to fill the void, such as spending time with friends or doing activities you enjoy. If you still don't want to tell your partner, try to figure out what's going on and why you're afraid to show it first.


Each individual, each couple, has its own way of expressing and feeling lack. The important thing is to understand and respect each other's emotional needs. Through communication, empathy and understanding, each couple can find their own balance. After all, love is not measured by the intensity of lack, but by the depth of connection.

Vanessa Charles

A (very) close friend of Cupid and a true lover of relationships of all kinds, I am the main editor of Give Me Date. I answer your questions about couples, sexuality and dating and I test dating sites to give you a subjective opinion on how to find love or meet new people.

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